I’m a Douchebag

I think I missed one of the key SXSWi groups, “How Not To be a Douchebag” (Great re-cap by @EdRabbit), because if I’ve learned anything these past few months is that I have a tendency to be one.

Douchebag Tendency #1 – Not Remembering People

One thing that is great about starting SMC Seattle is that I have had a chance to meet many great people. The flip side of that is that my memory sucks and I keep forgetting people.

I used to think that I had a great visual memory and would never forget a face, unfortunately because of old age, or too much Makers, that has recently been proved wrong.

At SXSWi I met a lot of people from Seattle who I had talked with before, but completely forgot who they were. I’m sure it happens to everyone, but it sure makes me feel like crap. I hate when someone comes up to me and says, “Hi, Kevin”, and I have no recollection of talking with them, and definitely do not remember their name.

It makes me feel like a jerk, and if I pretend I remember whom they are, it makes me feel like a douchebag.

I have no idea what to do about it. Truth is, my memory sucks, it always has. Memorizing has always been my weakness.

Heck I had to take Spanish 3 twice in college because I sucked at remembering all those verbs. I’ve tried all the tricks but have had no luck.

I’ve seen others try to fake there way around not remembering someone. They just pretend they remember them and go with it, but I think that is even more of a douchebag move. If I do that, I could end up missing some real cool info about the person.

Do you have any ideas or recommendations?

Below are some possible options I have come up with.

1) Try to be sly, and ask questions to get more details until something jolts my memory. (Not guaranteed to work)
2) Pretend I remember them after I ask a few questions.
3) Tell them the truth, that my memory sucks, and go from there.

Douchebag Tendency #2 – Short conversations.

The next douchebag tendency I have is that I have a tendency to have really short conversations with people. Especially at SMC Seattle events. I feel like I need to run around and meet as many people as possible to be a “good host”.

This leads to shallow conversations that do not benefit anyone.

There is no excuse for this, and I don’t like it. From this point on I am going to spend time with people, and enjoy the conversation.

I do this at other events, why should it be any different at SMC Seattle events?

Obviously before SMC Seatle events kicks off, I have a tendency to run around making sure everything is set and need to cut some people off. There is no reason I can’t carry those conversations on later in the event however.

At any rate, whether it is forgetting people, or simply not taking time with them, I am going to work on it, and look for your advice as well.

I really don’t want to be a douchebage, and want to learn from as many people in the community as I can.

All the good stuff always happens after you know someone’s name, and get past the small talk!

Kevin

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  • http://techkaraokesea.wordpress.com Karianne

    Kevin, I can completely relate to you holding short conversations. I have a difficult time at TechKaraoke events. I feel like I don't have time to talk to anyone very long because I need to make the rounds and talk to everyone. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one! And I don't think you're a douchbag!

  • http://www.changeitmarketing.com kevinurie

    Thanks Karianne! At least at the events we put on other people get to have good conversations.

  • http://twitter.com/arianna Arianna O'Dell

    naw, you're not. it's hard with so many ppl at every event. 🙂

  • That random guy

    Wow did anyone else just get here from Google?

  • dafd

    hi this good trick